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Darth Vader Say What?

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Sometimes the simplest ideas turn out to be the best. After watching this video let’s see if you were like me and laughed a little bit more than you thought you would when the video began. Darth Vader is a bit hard of hearing and that’s it. No witty explanation needed. If this is the Vader we get in the new trilogy, I wouldn’t be opposed.

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Dammit Disney, Stop Making Me Want More Star Wars!!!

This new Star Wars trilogy is going to be an emotional roller coaster for many fat nerds including myself.

First came the initial news that we were getting new movies when Disney bought Lucasfilm, next came word that Oscar winner Michael Arndt would be writing the script for Episode VII, then came some soul hurting news that Disney wanted to bring Darth Vader back despite the fact he is inside a golden urn sitting on Luke and Mara’s Jedi/fireplace mantle but now the tide has turned a bit with the news that Episodes VIII and IX have screenwriters.

Lawrence Kasdan, yes THAT Lawrence Kasdan who wrote Empire and Return as well as Raiders of the Lost Ark, is teaming with Simon Kinberg, who wrote the entertaining Sherlock Holmes and the simply great X-Men: First Class, to produce and write the scripts for the final two flicks in the new trilogy.

C’mon Disney,  just when it seems like you are going to screw some stuff up and take Star Wars back to Lucastown Population: Jar Jar you pull this damn rabbit out of your hat??! Kasdan….the dude wrote Empire and Raiders for god’s sake!! How am I supposed to keep my expectations low when you have him back doing Star Wars?!

So just to keep track, this is where I stand.

Disney announces new Star Wars- Excitement level +65%

Michael Arndt writing Episode VII +20%

Tell me that Darth Vader will magically find his way back from Jedi heaven -45%

Hire Lawrence Kasdan to write VII and IX +40%

And the damn thing hasn’t even gone in front of cameras yet!!!

Well, Episode VII Sounded Good For A Week At Least

Dammit.

Rumor time for Star Wars again which I am sure will be an almost daily occurrence until the summer of 2015 and this movie actually comes out.  Seems like some “insiders” have discovered that Disney is super keen on bringing Darth Vader back to life. Yeah I know, just go ahead and strap in for this rape cause it’s gonna happen.

Here is the bit that the so called man in the know revealed:

“He’s an integral part of the franchise. Replacing him is virtually impossible. The plan is for him to return and play a significant role in the new films.”

And here is the even better explanation of how he returns:

“This is science fiction remember. Darth Vader will rise from the ashes.”

Look, being sci-fi or a comic or horror movie character is always easy street to resurrection but the asthmatic bastard was BURNED ON A FUNERAL PYRE!!! THERE IS NO MORE OF HIM!! HE HAS CEASED TO BE!!!

The only avenue appears to be a clone like Ripley in Alien Resurrection and we all know how that turned out. Are we entirely sure that George Lucas does not have his hand up somebody’s ass in Disney and is still feeding shitty ideas because this is the most Lucas thing ever.